my husband left me because he was unhappy my husband left me because he was unhappy

If you are not than this is a problem that needs solved, as I am sure you would be right at his side if roles were reversved. Why hasnt society caught up with that? I will never get over this, I am hurting so much. Your not the only one Focus on yourself and kids. This was a choice she made and didnt care about you or your feelings or your child for that matter. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. Your pain will pass and you will get back on ur feet again. What do I do to save my marriage or how do find the strength to leave? I cried all day thats just a way to release what I feel. she just kept it in and kept it a secret.he was sending her money, and they were making plans for a long time her to leave and moved to England.now theyre engaged to be married and are making wedding plans.and also looking into a goth wedding, with a blood red dress and even have a guest invitation list.all this and she is still married to me.the divorce is pending, because of abandonment and being international,it could take years to finalize.I am at a loss for answers, I have no closer.I guess I will never get closer.this is clearly the worst thing that is ever happened to me. It hurts to have been so stupid to believe she ever wanted it back at all, probably just guilt for what she did. Terrific article, and do agree as my special area is helping couples reignite that passion, trust, desire. Or he /she is crazy!!! My wife wanting me to be happy is tormenting. Its not fair of you to hold a grudge and try to get your husband back when hes more than likely done with you. I think weve grown apart over the years but we still had a comfortable and affectionate relationship. He was very excited on Friday regarding his news that two lots became available and was texting me of how excited he was. He was messing with a female on his ship one pay grade lower and still got away with it. Soon, I reverted back to what I was doing to prior to the attempt to get pleasure. Yes, I think many people skim the article missing some really relevant information. Unfortunately these pieces need to meet the reader where he or she is, so there will definitely be different perspectives based on the context of each individuals situation. Thats quite a story. That aside Ive been really good to her and treating her as if I just met her but that has not resonated with her. I felt like I was wasting his time. Im routing for you 100%! Im so lost and I dont know what to do. He speaks animal suffering communication with dead he has completed changed. It's OK To Fake It A Little After Your Husband Leaves. Then,Christmas came around, and he started acting like the kids do not need anything, so, its time they learned disappointment. I have fantastic close friends and an even better-extended family. I am so heart broken why would he do that to me and how will l get over him ALLTOGETHER. I feel like he blames me for our failed marriage and I know that everything hehas said were all just excuses because he was too much of a coward to admit he was leaving for someone else. Part of me thinks shes simply selfish and refuses to work out our problems. She lives about an hour and a half away. in the last few weeks i have asked him one or twice if being with me is what he wants and he said of course and we have had some really lovely days together, the night before we split up we had not a blazing row as such but it was the way things were said that was the problem not what was actually said, he woke the next morning left for work and text me saying he thinks I should go back to my parents house, maybe the living together situation isnt working out and then began to say he thinks we shouldnt be together he doesnt know what he wants he loves me but hates the fact we keep arguing and dont seem to get along the way we use to. In fact they will sleep more soundly knowing we are eating out our hearts and crying ourselves to sleepover them My husband would withhold from me in many ways, not just lack of communication. But I always get the brunt of their problems I am the one that is mean and I was always the one to buy them all their desires. Lou, Not looking for any comments just felt a need to write that lot down. The day you never thought would come has become reality. I actually became suicidal because I was so worried about what I . Hey there all. I have just left my partner of 16 years. 3. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. And will try to stay her friend. For him to leave like that in the middle of the night tells me that he is very immature! The only one I feel sad about is our son, they used to be so close ,its as though he is jealous of how his own sons life is going so great, has his dream job , his youth and health and trys to make US feel guilty about HIS life choices that he still insists on taking , even though the jobs he takes are for longer spells on the other side of the world and with every excuse why he cant phone , email ( no or little Internet ) give out his address or even post a letter, cant send him birthday cards or presents ( post to expensive and cant trust the mail ) When you are ready to tell your story Wendy , you will be amazed on how it flows. We had some issues but always thought we would work them out. He would never compromise nit even come home 1 time a week to have supper as a family hes a workaholic Now hes not happy because Ivehad anger issues so I went to get help since I too realizes I have to work on myself and I changed.my kids see it.however apparently I didnt change enough. Dont punish him for this though, because he hasnt done anything wrong. Im so devistated, He wants to relax all day and live the life of a boy. So I did nothing. But I did it and discovered 2 empty bottles of butane. I have had to completely restart from scratch without anything and I think I would have to suffer this a thousand times again rather than live like that ever again. It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. A couple days after New Years she finally agrees to let me come grab a garbage bag of clothes. Weve only been married for the last 19 months. Im not saying to use self-help books as a magic pill that will solve all your problems. My wife and I have been together as lovers for 13 years. I am 28.after 5 year of marriage my wife left me.our relationship was role model in the society.I had just started to earn the best salary which could be enough for our happy future but she has left me and I think there is value of the money.she was satisfied with every angle including sexual too.but suddenly she changed decision and staying with her parents.cant believe. As for me, i dont want to be in the same time zone as my estranged wife And when the kids are both out of the house, I fully intend to leave the continent. I can have my flatulence moments with only the kids laughing at me and I am learning about me. You are brave to reach out, that is the first sign you are ready to stand up for yourself and ready to take yourself back. You see, self-help books offer a different kind of advice because they often offer exercises and other activities you can do to help make your life easier. Research from 2018 suggests low emotional intelligence may contribute to the likelihood someone may abandon a relationship without warning. He said he filed for divorce and that was a blow to my heart after he told me he was not even considering it. If there is another woman hes talking to you probably want to know that sooner than later so dont be afraid to confront him on it. I still cant understand why, all this is happening. The list goes on and on, I did hold resentment for that and no I didnt tell him how wonderful he was every day, but I gave him a pat on the back when he needed it and Id set money aside so that we could have family time on the weekends and do fun things. He is indicating you have all the power over his life. They are in a place where they dont have any clarity and theyre in the middle of a crisis. I have been through this, and I know that sometimes it may seem like your marriage is over, but it might not be. He wont talk to me about his feelings all he said was that he love me but he is not in love with me anymore. I was with her for 95% of every treatment. You might feel like youre on an island all by yourself, but thats not true. Right now you need to make the correct decisions for you and only you. I stuck with him and eventually the drinking did become better however I had difficulty fully trusting him after the first infidelity about two years in to our marriage. Its been hard. I dont understand how someone can throw you out of your own house . He is not the man I have been with for the last 15 years I felt like a criminal. This has seemed to stifle his attacks on me for being at fault for his unhappy life. He has no emotion or seems to even care. Usually it is a combination of both, dont you think? You will be fine. While our sons are adults we were a close family. And at the time he would be like. They immediately started living together before I was ever handed a divorce. They might stop eating or eat more to dull the pain. You have described your situation and it is exactly as I feel. She indicates someone whos been through abuse or bullying, for example, may be hypervigilant of acts that minimally resemble betrayal. The long and short of my story is that I came home from work last night to find my girlfriend of almost 2 years and 8 months living together with her bags packed and a car outside with her mums friend waiting. Six months since I left him for another man. She has developed feelings for a woman she works with and cannot walk away from her. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. Ive always tried to change to be more what she wanted, but nope. Its one thing to be emotionally abused its another thing to be financially abused. You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . Its a partnership, a friendshipcouples give up way too easy. Abuse should definitely be on the list. Hi.im married to my husband forfor 4 years.i made more money than him.I stuck by him through his madness.Drinking and drugging.He never went for help.I always felt he was doing what he wanted because he just wanted to.I cared for him too much.I let my guard down.He now has a better job and only four months being employed,he says we have nothing in common, we should be friends.He not used to anything.Now he gets another chance of living a better life, hes gone.All he did was lie to me . Thank God we dont have any children involved! Constantly points out my flaws and still shows no remorse at all for the horrific things she has done to our family. These are really dated terms. Im so sorry, this broke my heart. Good riddance. I said no to moving out because a) I sole own the house and sole was paying the mortgage and B) I thought her behaviour was erratic and odd for the months leading up to her moving out plus I was getting fed up of rolling over to her whims. So cold, so heartless and has absolutely zero consideration for me. I am obsessed with telling his wife. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and it's OK to express grief: "You're grieving the loss of this relationship, what . To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. And the holidays are almost here, I know Im not going to feel better by then, so that has me down also since Ill be all alone for the first time through that. The right man will respect what you have been through, he will be patient and kind and above most understanding. He stopped saying i love you or acted although it was painful to say. theycome to realize is this it! Any advice please? My husband is in the military and has spent alot of time away from us because of deployments and travel. Brutal to walk in and every turn have that in your face, and it wasnt perfect but I came back everyday after work. They might cry a lot more often unexpectedly. Hi, another in the same boat, was with my partner for 8 years, we had had a rough year as his hours were dropped to 3 days, then he got suspended, then sacked , secured him a job at where i work, his mum extremely ill and died recently, stuck with him through all this and then 2 months ago he literally stood up and said he didnt know what he wanted and went, phone contact for a while now zilch, nothing, have asked in a text as he not speaking ( so didnt want to mither) if were done yes or no ? If you want a divorce its fine. It is atrocious and inhumane how you have been treated. This was mid January. You are trying so hard and are not getting the appreciation you deserve. She moved in with me for several months, but had second thoughts and ended moving to one of her relatives for a few months to sort things out. She refuses to answer her phones and when I do get her mom to go there, she refuses to see our child even when I dropped off at her moms which is super close. I dont know how to handle this situation. This other guys life probably seems fresh and new, problem free, sexually attentive and like a vacation from her life. But Ive never really been able to trust him and while he says this time theres no one else and this time its about us not being able to live together and his miserable I make him and have pushed him away, a week after he left I saw him with another woman. Believe me evil exists in the world I will pray that you will never experience this great of an evil, but you will experience some evil. *they feel smothered How to cope: This is a great opportunity and time to ask yourself what you want to do with your time and how you want to live. Men can be relentless and because they do not think off of emotions like us, they tend to see ours as silly. She ruined mothers day after I bought her gifts and took her out. He worked days. That was at the end of September. I didnt need someone to be whole. She spent a few nights at his place and on new years eve she drove him home and spent the night. The night we separated he told me . Give her space and dont call her or text her Then what, it is just so sad. He has never served me, and has filed for two extensions for the filing. I was like how can you be so mean to me? Let go of the self-blame. "My wife left me alone for nearly two years while I was away for work and . We went from 4 to 2 overnight in the household. I realised then this was serious and we were in trouble. Like said I get it, HIS fav team stuff all over drinking glasses and mugs. We are now separated again but he is now living with another woman, same woman he dated for 4 months during our last seperstion. , Back away and give him space. I realized I needed help, again, and I have since been doing that. I need me time. So I told her last week this crap isnt right and if she wants to be single every weekend than I cant be there at all and we will be zero contact at all. However while she was visiting her family her step uncle came to town, I was not there but the day he arrived she turned cold. I dont know who to treat him. Why put everybody through all this again if you cant be bothered to truly try and put in effort. But she left me with all unnecessary fear and stick to her parents decisions who doesnt know the ground reality but imagineIm praying to god please pray for me. Ohh they are just girls. I kept telling him she felt more than friendship. 6. But he hurts me everyday. Nothing under the sun is permanent. I have stood with her thru the good and bad times and now that I am out of the house she treats me like Im a stranger. Here's expert intel on why you mightve been ghosted plus what to do about it. I do not know if it is love. I am totally devastated. Well one month into my overseas job that was just for 18 monthsshe told me she was leaving me after the financing on the new house fell through. These tips may help you let go of the past, including someone who hurt you. He has three kids I have two. In my parents day, they stood together and stayed married, committed right through, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Luckily it isnt working and they can see his behaviour for what it is which makes him even more bitter and he subsequently blames everyone else for people not wanting anything to do with him. Its just an observation but she seems to have also removed all responsibility from her life its scary. It made me feel sick. He said he no longer loved me and couldnt to it anymore. He was my best friend for 16 yrs and it is killing me. I read It goes back to their childhood when they were never held accountable for their actions and would lie and cover up rather than be chastised by their parents one of which was probably narcissistic too . You will overcome. I was so fearful of it returning that I wound up taking the gabapentin for seven months before daring to discontinue it. They dont say how to handle the part before Im ok cause Im not ok. And, I do have a shrink for a totally different personal issue, but she just had a baby. I searched out an old girl friend from years back, we met several times for walks and just talked. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. My only piece of wisdom from this whole scenario is that I have a Christian faith and it has really been keeping me sane by praying. We are taking it slow and I hope to move there within a year When he left me, my mother was furious . But I have someone to thank for the life I currently have. It took some comments by others, even his own family to see how much I compensated and accommodated. People need real information or else they divorce prematurely and they often go on to divorce again and again (more research!). Finally, I embraced it., I thought I was a goner and my story was coming to an end. cheat ,refuse to except your responabillity dont come crying when the shit hits the fan and nobody wants nothing to do with you .I love my kids still love my wife and will do anything to make their live good I wish her all the best with the new man but fear , a relationship built on lies and deceit is a disaster waiting to happen .Good luck to all who have been cheated on I wish you all the happiness you can find be strong and trust in yourself , trust me nobody but you can make this better so walk with head held high feel proud that you didnt sink to their level best of luck one mightily piss off deserted husband. Im not comparing my experience, but evil is evil no matter what level it is onAgain Thanks for your response. My two closest friends both claim that if he said jump I would ask how high so I think I was attentive especially when he asked me for special items for dinner or what not I always make sure he had his request fufilled. I questioned her about it and she denied it. My husband left me on 10-14-15, after 2years of being married says he found the person he had been looking for since he been in Florida, what I dont understand is why marry someone if you were looking for someone else??? I have been married for 4 years. If he doesnt get a rise out of me, he becomes enraged and starts drama then tries to blame it on me. Seriously, scared me. for some of us who hates dating and hate being with other people. I was treated with an initial dose of flexoril and valium and ***NEURONTIN*** (Gabapentin). It should never be based on how YOU are feeling thats selfish, not selfless. She left you without warning after 10 years of marriage because her family and a so called friend pushed her to do so. But I have no choice but to pick up my own pieces and move on because he left me with no choice. I am just wondering something just seems very off. Ok. What would people do in my situation. As woman we must always trust our gut, I wish I had so many times. You will probably find things thaT you might enjoy to do that you could not do before. So, i left and walked around, when, i came back, they were not there. now this 55 year old woman, has pierced her nose, lip, all up and down both ears, and has gotten three tattoos.it is very strange behavior, for a woman who went to church. And he got away with it, because if the corrupt Judicial system. These are really dated terms. Her parents became yet more overpowering towards her and to my kids adding yet more stress. My husband made cupcakes for my daughter and every home game for two seasons for four years of high school. I have to live at home with my parents to get rid of all the debt I incurred through the attorney fees and EVERY bill being in my name while married. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. Now is dating a married woman who walked out on her husband and kids to be with mine. I found out last Friday (after him denying it over and over) that he is having an affair. He is a sociopath who researched, calculated and executed a horrific crime on another human being with no remorse, empathy, compassion and humanity!! Got obsessed with animal rights became activist. I just want to know what people think, and if anything would help. me & my bf were 2gether 8 years & i found a conversation on his tablet telling a girl he loves her & all this stuff.. i was willing 2 work it out but he told me he hasnt been happy 4 the past year & hes not in love with me anymore & hes bored.. i was devastated, a total wreck.. he moved 2 PA with his family while he waits 4 the girl 2 move there in April.. we still text as friends but it gets really hard as I cant talk about his new gf.. i am far from over it but i do want 2 be his friend, possibly more if we can work it out.. after he left i started taking care of myself & all that pampering stuff.. well, i came 2 the conclusion that i dont want his a** back.. she can keep him, i hope they will be very happy.. im done.. he left him crying & pleading, left me.. i was faithful 8 years, i adored him, worshipped the ground he walked on.. i work, i just got a truck, im sweet as candy & i deserve better.. we keep texting as friends & sometimes we still flirt a bit but its not like that.. he played Me, the best thing that ever happened 2 him & im slowly getting over it.. i know im great & i deserve greatness so whatever dude.. ur loss.. Now she was gone two weeks and something was different. Kasey Scharnett-King, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Fort Worth, Texas, suggests being wary of impulsive decisions. She said she could do what ever she had to with her husband to keep the family together. I say things before I realize it and then it is just to late Its awful. He is divorced and has 2 young girls. She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with (yet managed for 5 years previously). I am dealing with being invited to his brothers for thanksgiving. She will regret it one day and when she do you will be in a better place mentally and moved on with another woman and that will be your revenge on her. My wife of 10 years left 4 weeks ago and hasnt looked back. I dont hit her I dont drink I dont do drugs I take date of the kids so I dont understand how come it hurts me so much and not her and why she left and isnt willing to work on it at all. How can this possibly be dealt with? Its hard to think that way. We sold our home we owned together, yet I paid the mortgage as we were looking for a change. Rachel, you are the exact same age as me and my husband is the same age as yours. I had to get a lawyer in another town, because of the good old boy club there. All Im saying is that if you want to get better, you should start reading these books right now. I did however have enough control of my wits to get a lawyer and try to speak for my innocence in court. All those things Ive overlooked for years are very obvious now. Photo, Ondine Corewijn/Stocksy. It sounds like the only way this will work is if you tell her what you want and deserve and if she cannot do that then get busy. Then a month later he came home and told me he never loved me and his mind was f$&k#% . :), I am retired navy vet and I read. Then a notable lack of interest. I font think Ive ever felt pain like it. Looking for some advise,please. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Please help me with the divorce decision please. Try to relinquish anger and resentment to create space for understanding and growth. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I cant believe that she will come back from this business trip with her husband and we would be able to continue on as we have and still have the relationship that we both have known to be so strong. She ignored my calls and texts between then. We would sit up and chat for a couple hours and then I would head home, do it all over again the next day. Hi CassieD! Most likely you fell out of love because you decided to stop loving your partner or you decided that you loved someone or something else even more. Sadly we lost him which was devastating then two weeks later got married (already planned) then quickly found out we had a daughter on the way. I broke down and hit the ultimate low and the very next day she used it and stripped me of custody and I didnt get to see my kids for 7 months. First of all,thank you for sharing your story. She tells me her love life with her husband could never reach the level that her and I have. She mightve been young and had settled down with kids at a young age and wanted an escape, but with that Guy it wont Last and if it does she wont be Happy. She knows not what she does. A girl who is blinded by love. Its been a week and everyday I tell her I love her and she never says it back, the week she wanted the separation I had a sezuire and she was right there beside the hospital bed crying and even when we went home she had trouble sleeping wanting to make sure Im was ok then a couple days later boom she leaves me. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. I know he made some mistakes, but that doesnt mean that you have to live with them. We met at school and Im not ready for what happened, she just left for our friend. Now our oldest daughter is living with her across town and trying to make sure she doesnt do herself too much harm drinking herself unconsciousness (appears wine is no longer evil) or otherwise. 3. I met a woman on-line and its going great but it is long distance And you cant necessary believe everything she says. He finally said that he had met someone but that this person had nothing to do his decision was made. Sometimes people are just so selfish and they think they are going to find someone better and most of the time they dont. You may never get the answer you are looking for from your partner, but there are several common reasons why someone leaves a relationship. Its been six months and I dont feel like at any more peace and someways irs worse than before. My wife started suffering from post partem depression around his first birthday and I have been watching her slowly recede into herself over the last 9 months. A week after he left my dad passed away. When seen through anyone else's lens, she's beautiful. I give everything to her. Anyone who vetted someone over their mental health status wouldnt be worth staying with. 32 years we have did everything together and it dont feel right being alone. I am aware that this is poisoning my heart and rationally speaking I know I must forgive. They don't feel appreciated. Have you thought about maybe having the teacher of your oldest daughter call DYFS? Its rough but in the long run we will be better off. Maybe that was the final straw. We all do. She said that she doesnt want my money.But Im sorry but it is pretty hard to trust her after what she has done.I still love her,after all we have been together for almost 28 yrs.